Doing Things, Episode 2 - Laundry

Doing Things, Episode 2 - Laundry

Queerspawn

Doing Things is a podcast series by Sadie Epstein-Fine. The series tells stories through recalling everyday moments of being a queer/genderqueer person with two moms. Sadie Epstein-Fine (they/them) is a second-generation queer, Jewish, artist, and activist. They work mostly as a theatre director, playwright, and creator, passionate about musical theatre and making work for young audiences. They co-edited, with Makeda Zook, Spawning Generations: Rants and Reflections on Growing Up with LGBTQ+ Parents, published in 2018 by Demeter Press. Sadie has been a queer family and queerspawn advocate/activist for almost 20 years.

Sadie Epstein-Fine

Queerspawn fonds, F0196-01-005-003, The ArQuives

[2020-2021]

1 MPEG-4 audio file [00:05:51], Hard Drive

English

Episode 2 of Doing Things With Two Lesbian Feminist Separated Moms and Their Grown Up Queer Daughter. This is Doing Laundry in Stratford, Ontario.

So, in February 2020, just before the pandemic hit us, I went to work at the Stratford Festival. And the apartment I was staying at didn’t have laundry. So, when my moms came up on the weekend before I was going to start work... They came… Well, they didn’t just come to help me do my laundry. They came to visit. But they also helped me do my laundry.

So, when we arrived at the laundry mat, they went to get the quarters for the laundry. Of course, you know, even though I’m a grown up, they… Laundry is on them. And as I separated all the clothes that I needed to separate, they then showed me how to use laundry machine where the soap dispenser wasn’t separate from... Or there wasn’t a separate soap dispenser, which, you know... It’s been a long time since I’ve done laundry at a laundromat. I’m very lucky that my apartment has laundry.

Anyways… You know... And then as we are waiting, we drive to Bulk Barn, which, you know, in a small town… As someone who comes from Toronto, I would never imagine… I would just have to walk outside and go to the nearest store. But of course, the nearest store when you’re not in downtown Stratford is like… It would take a while to walk there.

And so we drive to Stratford. And like, we don’t even pull out of the parking lot of the laundromat before my moms start critiquing my driving. And they, you know, both have different opinions. And I start to yell at them. And then, you know, as I’m yelling at them, I almost get hit by a car coming that I don’t see.

When we arrive at Bulk Barn, we go our separate ways and angerly shop for black licorice and seeds and nuts, and don’t speak to each other until we leave the Bulk Barn. But then, we kind of, you know, get over it more or less. We just needed a moment of separation.

So we get back to the laundromat and they show me how to use the coin operated dryer. And I’m... You know, this whole time I’m thinking, “Oh my God. I’m an adult. You know? I should be able to do my own laundry. Am I really here to work at the Stratford Festival and my moms still have to help me do basic life tasks?” So yeah, I feel a great deal of shame and embarrassment.

And then this woman in the laundromat looks over at us and smiles. And you know, the rolodex of what she’s thinking starts coming into my brain. You know? Has she ever seen a person with two moms? Of course she’s seen a person with two moms. There are gay people in Stratford. There are definitely gay people with children in Stratford, Ontario. And then I’m like, you know, maybe she’s never seen an adult with two moms. You know? I was kind of part of the first big wave of queer spawn, queerlings, whatever term you know, you want to use of queer people having babies. So, you know, I’m like, maybe she thinks one of my moms is... You know? One of them is my mom and the other one is my aunt, or a friend, or something. Or, you know, then I’m like, maybe she’s smiling at us and just thinking, "oh wow how pathetic, that this, you know, that this child does not know how to do laundry." And her mom should have taught her earlier in her life."

It’s also funny, yeah, that when I see myself from other people’s perspective, I um… My pronouns are they and them, but I always refer to myself as "she and her" because I guess I assume that is how everybody reads me. You know? And then I’m thinking, “Oh God, she’s probably thinking like, ‘Yo, you know, holy smokes, just let her be! She’s an adult for Christ’s sake! You know?”

Obviously I have no idea what she was thinking. But then, as we are packing up, you know, folding the laundry, putting it in the bin, and leaving... As we are walking out the door, one of my moms, who obviously... Classic, my mom had made friends with this woman at some point in our laundry doing, she turns back and she says "bye" to this woman. And the woman very sweetly says, “bye ladies!” And then my mom turns to me and goes “sigh, I’m not a lady.”

That was episode 2 of Doing Things With Two Lesbian Moms.

5 minutes, 51 seconds