124 10 3226 https://digitalexhibitions.arquives.ca/files/original/a1c522a294001a316f5688260636af5b.jpg 2507a231da97d748d58009b2269eb125 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource LGBTQ+ Buttons Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource Ryerson University Library and Archives Canadian Lesbian and Gay Archives Physical Object An inanimate, three-dimensional object or substance. Note that digital representations of, or surrogates for, these objects should use Moving Image, Still Image, Text or one of the other types. Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource I have big feet, so what? Subject The topic of the resource transgender publishers Description An account of the resource Round button with black text in white speech bubble on orange background. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource genderpress Mirha-Soleil Ross Xanthra Phillippa MacKay Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived genderpress Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available CLGA Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1990s Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource genderpress Mirha-Soleil Ross Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource jpeg Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource Button Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context 2008-073 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant ||||osm Toronto genderpress Mirha-Soleil Ross transgender publishers Xanthra Philippa Mackay https://digitalexhibitions.arquives.ca/files/original/bfa3aed89a2fd669e3b4230c60512fe5.jpg 594e1ab3d49ff193d7d333a9043eca48 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource LGBTQ+ Buttons Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource Ryerson University Library and Archives Canadian Lesbian and Gay Archives Physical Object An inanimate, three-dimensional object or substance. Note that digital representations of, or surrogates for, these objects should use Moving Image, Still Image, Text or one of the other types. Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource I Heart Trans People Subject The topic of the resource transgender people allies visibility Description An account of the resource Circular white button with black text and a red heart. Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource CLGA does not hold copyright Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource button Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource button trans visibility https://digitalexhibitions.arquives.ca/files/original/0ded01b06f06d11bceeee4c707502bd3.jpg 82fca9551bc28a2ce48d3b73a8edf7c1 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource LGBTQ+ Buttons Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource Ryerson University Library and Archives Canadian Lesbian and Gay Archives Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource I LOVE 'EM BUTCH Subject The topic of the resource butches transgender publishers Description An account of the resource Round button with white text on black background. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource genderpress Mirha-Soliel Ross Xanthra Phillippa Mackay Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available CLGA Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1990s Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource genderpress Mirha-Soliel Ross Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource button Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource button Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context 2008-073 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant ||||osm Toronto butches genderpress Mirha-Soleil Ross transgender publishers Xanthra Philippa Mackay https://digitalexhibitions.arquives.ca/files/original/fd9dfae936bb18c13d3ec521b93f0f78.jpg caf8bd94de383848a4e48441b2185438 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource LGBTQ+ Buttons Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource Ryerson University Library and Archives Canadian Lesbian and Gay Archives Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource I love transsexuals Subject The topic of the resource Transsexual people Transgender publishers Description An account of the resource Round button with black text on pink background Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource genderpress Mirha-Soleil Ross Xanthra Phillippa MacKay Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived genderpress Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available CLGA Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1990s Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource genderpress Mirha-Soleil Ross Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource Button Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource Button Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context 2008-073 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant ||||osm Toronto genderpress Mirha-Soleil Ross transsexual people Xanthra Philippa Mackay https://digitalexhibitions.arquives.ca/files/original/28a59941c0667b8f3c3ebc08fb4801ff.jpg 61a5fb8571b4cc6b779ed9819f5896ef Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource LGBTQ+ Buttons Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource Ryerson University Library and Archives Canadian Lesbian and Gay Archives Physical Object An inanimate, three-dimensional object or substance. Note that digital representations of, or surrogates for, these objects should use Moving Image, Still Image, Text or one of the other types. Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource I Play It Safe! Subject The topic of the resource safer sex condoms health Description An account of the resource Circular white pin with red text. Publisher An entity responsible for making the resource available City of Toronto Department of Public Health Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource CLGA does not hold copyright Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource button Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource button health HIV/AIDS safer sex https://digitalexhibitions.arquives.ca/files/original/b74c20ee5f260cd099319f55ed519804.jpg 70d3468472ec8f56313d13c9c7cb9809 Still Image A static visual representation. Examples include paintings, drawings, graphic designs, plans and maps. Recommended best practice is to assign the type Text to images of textual materials. Original Format The type of object, such as painting, sculpture, paper, photo, and additional data Painting Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource I Want To Belong Subject The topic of the resource Sex work activism Description An account of the resource Painting of a heart with arrows through it, surrounded by the text "I don't want to be resilient, I want to belong". Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Jelena Vermilion Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived F0199 Jelena Vermilion fonds Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 2023 Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource Reproduced with permission from Jelena Vermilion (all rights reserved). Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource JPG Paint pen and paint on watercolour paper Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource Image Identifier An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context F0199 Jelena Vermilion fonds Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant ||||osm Hamilton, ON, Canada, 2023 LGBTQ+ artists sex work activism https://digitalexhibitions.arquives.ca/files/original/b00ff1300c3a8d42b6f893e02e2ebd9e.jpg bf0a8841cf5ae0b3a63fb3bca210efba Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource LGBTQ+ Buttons Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource Ryerson University Library and Archives Canadian Lesbian and Gay Archives Physical Object An inanimate, three-dimensional object or substance. Note that digital representations of, or surrogates for, these objects should use Moving Image, Still Image, Text or one of the other types. Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource I'll be there for George Hislop Subject The topic of the resource political parties elections Description An account of the resource White circular button with green and red text. Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource CLGA does not hold copyright Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource button Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource button https://digitalexhibitions.arquives.ca/files/original/31a18fe3dd96e5144c93ad6770a4f089.jpg 46750c9083107fa9111fb61c58cadf16 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource LGBTQ+ Buttons Contributor An entity responsible for making contributions to the resource Ryerson University Library and Archives Canadian Lesbian and Gay Archives Physical Object An inanimate, three-dimensional object or substance. Note that digital representations of, or surrogates for, these objects should use Moving Image, Still Image, Text or one of the other types. Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource I'm GAY, PROUD, and CANADIAN Subject The topic of the resource gay pride Canadians visibility Description An account of the resource Circular white button with red text and maple leaf. Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource CLGA does not hold copyright Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource button Language A language of the resource English Type The nature or genre of the resource button visibility https://digitalexhibitions.arquives.ca/files/original/1874550c6005be68e1b3a920fbe249e4.wav 6c93dd888f44b6c584789eef7d7e1813 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Queerspawn Digital Storytelling Project Subject The topic of the resource The Queerspawn Digital Storytelling Project was spearheaded by Sadie Epstein-Fine, creative and operational lead with community support from Makeda Zook in 2021. The goal of the project was to provide participants of all ages with one or more LGBTQ2+ parent(s) a way to explore aspects of the queerspawn experience through digital content creation. Over the course of 5 months, the Queerspawn project participants met virtually to share space and build community. They explored different ways to get into their stories and experiences. The project included 13 participants, who created video, art projects and installations, audio stories, podcasts and essays, exploring how their identities and life experiences have intersected with their queerspawn identity. The Queerspawn Project was made possible through the International Centre for Arts for Social Change’s FUTURES/Forward Program and The ArQuives: Canada’s LGBTQ2+ Archives. Description An account of the resource The fonds contains records from the Queerspawn Digital Storytelling Project dating from 1942 to 2021. It includes photographs, art installations, artwork, podcasts, audio stories, essays and video created by the thirteen project participants. Project participants were based out of Canada, the United States and Australia. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Queerspawn Digital Storytelling Project Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived Queerspawn Digital Storytelling Project fonds (F0196) Date A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource 1942 - 2021 Coverage The spatial or temporal topic of the resource, the spatial applicability of the resource, or the jurisdiction under which the resource is relevant Canada, United States, and Australia Oral History A resource containing historical information obtained in interviews with persons having firsthand knowledge. Transcription Any written text transcribed from a sound If You’re Gay, What am I? In first grade, I remember confiding in my two best friends, Cassie and Heather. We were sitting under a desk in the back of our classroom, a place where we told each other our deepest secrets. I took a deep breath and shared “ My dad is more like the mom and my mom is more like the dad.” Their faces went blank, uncertain of what this information could even mean. It was 1985, and my family lived in a small town in West Virginia. A place where mommies were supposed to be “mommies”: cooking, cleaning, looking pretty and kissing daddies. “Daddies” worked to support the family, fixed things around the house, and never, ever cried. I explained further, “My dad is the one who cooks, and he's always watching Young and the Restless.” I put it out there to see if maybe it wasn't so weird and their daddies did this too. Nope. Heather's daddy chewed tobacco and loved to shoot deer. Cassie’s daddy was some sort of travelling business man. Neither of their daddies even knew what Young and the Restless was. Their dads sounded more like my mom. Although she didn't chew tobacco or hunt, she was tough and emotionally distant. I told them, “When my mom comes home her uniform is always dirty. I think she is a mechanic or something.” Heather's mom didn't work, but she knew how to fix up some deer. Cassie’s mom was a secretary. Both their moms looked like moms. They had long hair they attempted to style and wore makeup to the best of their ability. When their husbands came home, they squeezed and kissed them. My mom had short hair, hated makeup and reluctantly kissed my father. The messages I received about gender from my parents were in conflict with society and with each other. My dad put me in beauty pageants and coerced me into ballet classes. He loved fixing my hair and doing my makeup. My mom stood by watching and rolling her eyes when my dad painted my tiny lids blue and puffy cheeks pink. My mom once asked, “Why do you talk like that?” She was referring to my “baby” voice. I was still only six, so I wasn't conscious of it or capable of answering such a deep question. When I did my chores, she said, “Elizabeth, you need to use some elbow grease.” Basically saying I did everything like a girl. I got the sense she didn't like anything that fell under the category “Girl”. My mom was trying to toughen me up, and my dad was trying to turn me into a floating flower. Neither felt natural. When my parents divorced, it was not a surprise. To me, they didn't belong together. My dad moved in with his friend Dale, and he never seemed happier. It was 1990. I was 11 years old, and although no one explained it to me then, I now know my dad was happier because he was gay and finally able to live the life he always wanted. Although I immediately accepted my dad's sexuality and was relieved to see him living as his true self, I did have questions. What did it mean for me? Did it make me gay? Was I only going to be attracted to gay men? Or would I even know how to be a woman because my dad was gay and my mom behaved in a way society defined as manly? In high school, I dated an effeminate guy named Chris. He wrote me poems and painted paintings and bought me bouquets of flowers he put together himself. I hated him. I ripped up his poems and threw away his flowers. I enjoyed the attention he gave me. He made me feel beautiful and like a woman, but I couldn't love him back. Even though I didn't understand it then (although it is obvious to me now), I was afraid he could be gay. After Chris, I dated a more masculine guy named Loc, pronounced, “lock”. He was tall and played college football. He was too old for me. But he certainly wasn't gay. In fact, he cheated on me with some girl his age, just as Chris had cheated on me (if surprisingly) with a woman. In my teenage mind, most men were gay or cheated. After graduating high school, I went to an acting school. Being away from home, I finally felt I was able to define myself. I didn't want to identify as gay or straight because I thought “How does anyone really know what they are?” I thought because my dad came out later that somehow sexuality was a bomb that could drop on you at any time, maybe some quiet morning while you were simply brushing your teeth. Around this time, people often asked me, “If your dad is gay, what does that make you?” I was open to the idea I could be gay or bisexual because I found women beautiful, and most of my meaningful relationships were with women and gay men. At times, I even thought “maybe I'll just marry a gay man on purpose!” One drunken night after a party, I did what supposedly all women do in college, and I kissed a fellow classmate, a girl. Unlike the song that made Katy Perry famous, I did not like it. It felt completely wrong. I felt ashamed. Not because I did something I secretly wanted to do but because I did something I never wanted to do in the first place. I finally understood that although I loved and admired women, I did not want to kiss them. I wanted to be them. To me, other women had it so easy. They just were. I wanted to just be, but I was too neurotic about my femininity. Even in acting school, I was encouraged to drop my baby voice. After thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours of doing vocal exercises, the voice remained. After acting school, I went to a university to study filmmaking. The school offered a few free therapy sessions. I was so broke, I latched on to anything free. During my first session, I didn't know what to say. I felt like a phony, as I had my whole life when it came to the expression of gender and myself. Technically, life was okay, and I had nothing to complain about. But then I heard these words coming out of my mouth, “Do I seem androgynous to you?” The nice psychologist-in-training laughed, “No, you totally look like a girl.” I wasn't convinced. I always felt as if something was fundamentally wrong with me, that because of my family, I was broken. So I decided to join a strict Christian church. I wasn't raised religious, but I did live in Texas. Living there most of my life, I got the sense there was a right life, and I was not living it. I told myself I wanted to join the church because I loved Jesus and the message of living in a world where everyone loved each other. But there was another part of me that couldn't wait to be corrected and fixed by the experience, and turned into a proper heterosexual woman. And the church obliged. I was assigned to a person who was supposed to be a mentor. She told me, “If you want to be a leader, you should imitate the leaders, look at how they cut their hair.” I wore my hair long, and a little makeup. But they wanted me to take it up a notch and have an actual hairstyle -- something that required maintenance. I thought our purpose as Christians was to band together to save the world, but all anyone ever talked about was getting married. Again, I felt like something was wrong with me. I wasn't obsessed with guys and the notion of getting married, like all the other girls. I wanted to fall in love and marry someday, but I thought it would happen on its own. I was even admonished over my failure to fixate on men—“Elizabeth, you should at least try to have an interest.” I guess I didn't want to obsess over things I couldn't have. Our church did not believe in sex before marriage. Our church didn't hate gay people per se; they just weren't allowed to join the church. Or if they did, they had to stop being gay. Although I didn't want to believe there was anything wrong with being gay, I looked at all the pain my family went through growing up, and it made me wonder. What if there is something wrong with it? What if there is something wrong with me? This doubt created a wedge between my father and me. Even though we never discussed it openly, I could tell he was apprehensive around me. He felt judged no matter what I did because I went to the church. And I always wondered in his heart of hearts if he could have chosen a different path and kept our family from so much hurt. My church believed we could only date and marry people from our church. We thought we were the only ones going to heaven. So it didn't make sense to date from the outside, someone you couldn't spend eternity with. But in the five years I attended this church, I never had genuine feelings for anyone. There were a few guys who were okay, but not anyone I wanted to marry. From ages 21 to 26, I didn't date anyone. Throughout acting school and film school, my dream was to become a screenwriter, but there weren't a lot of colleges where you could study that. So after graduating, I took a screenwriting workshop. The teacher (we’ll call him Hank) was a professional writer who had some commercial success. He had large bags, and dark circles under his eyes, from allergies and writing long hours into the night. He was balding and never had anything good to say about himself—I fell in love with him immediately. I confided in my sisters at the church about my feelings for Hank, and they said, “That is Satan. Satan is trying to pull you away from God.” I didn't take this too seriously, because I doubted Hank would ever go on a date with me. After the classes were over, Hank and I went on a date. Going on a date with someone who didn't go to my church was a sin, but I told myself, “He’s just mentoring me.” On our second mentoring session, I went to his house, and we watched a movie while sitting fairly close together. I had strong feelings for this person and didn't know why. He wasn't a Christian, he wasn't even good boyfriend material, and he didn't seem to like me that much. But I couldn't stop thinking about him. I never turned down a chance to talk with him, whether it was in person, or on the phone, or over email. I knew if I decided to pursue a romantic relationship with him, I would be kicked out of the church forever. Everything I built my life around those five years—my salvation, my faith, and all my friends—would be over. I realized, in some way, my experience of falling in love with Hank was similar to when my father fell in love with Dale. He probably didn't want to love him; he probably felt he shouldn't love him, but he couldn't help but love him. I no longer just accepted my dad. I understood him. We love whom we love, and it is not a choice. One Sunday morning, before church, I took a long walk. I walked so far I missed the morning service. I decided to never go back. I no longer needed to figure out my sexuality or gender. And I no longer had to get my hair cut like Jennifer Aniston to prove it. Duration Length of time involved (seconds, minutes, hours, days, class periods, etc.) 12 minutes, 48 seconds Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource If You're Gay, What Am I? Subject The topic of the resource Queerspawn Description An account of the resource Elizabeth Collins reads her essay, "If You're Gay, What Am I?" Essay was published in <i>Spawning Generations: Rants and Reflections on Growing Up With LGBTQ+ Parents</i>, edited by Sadie Epstein-Fine and Makeda Zook (Bradford: Demeter Press, 2018), p. 165-169. Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource Elizabeth Collins Source A related resource from which the described resource is derived Queerspawn fonds, F0196-01-002-001, The ArQuives Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource 1 WAV audio file [00:12:48], 138MB, Hard Drive Relation A related resource <a href="https://digitalexhibitions.arquives.ca/exhibits/show/queerspawn-digital-storytellin/elizabeth-collins">Queerspawn Storytelling Project, Elizabeth Collins</a> Language A language of the resource English https://digitalexhibitions.arquives.ca/files/original/d4a86580d102478ba0be5560214f2214.JPG d2200a67b9e800215e2120a55b988ca4 Dublin Core The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/. Title A name given to the resource Ignorance = Fear, Silence = Death. Fight AIDS, ACT UP Description An account of the resource ACT UP t-shirt featuring artwork by Keith Haring Creator An entity primarily responsible for making the resource ACT UP Rights Information about rights held in and over the resource CLGA does not own copyright Format The file format, physical medium, or dimensions of the resource t-shirt Type The nature or genre of the resource t-shirt Subject The topic of the resource HIV/AIDS health AIDS activists AIDS education AIDS phobia 1980s health HIV/AIDS Keith Haring visibility